missing little "love interest" notes, longing looks and being wanted...

unkowingly ≡ desconegudament ≡ sin conocimiento, right?

Getting nowhere

If you won't even look at me how in hell are you going to see that I can't take my eyes off you?

Hold your own

Are you checking back to see if that split second called upon my muses to inspire something out of me? Come on...

You might as well come out and admit it.

Let Them cry

Oh how inadvertently wise you've been, condemning yourself to nothingness and living of off far off dreams -so distant and unattainable you wouldn't even want or would stick around to see realized- and nothingness itself.

For you know, there's nothing out there except, maybe, other cages. Not My Cup of Tea cages, who would want to see themselves in... well, themselves with another name anyway? There might be Different, but where is Chemistry? There might be Understanding, but there's no expressing it. Communication is not dead, it never was. Anything at all.

And it's true, that you're trapped, but so is everybody else. While they feel it so, you know it so. Have the vastness of your self-imposed walls memorized, and be always aware that you are as free as you are limited. That it's irrelevant the Where, Whose or When, not even the What; just how. And the How is not just you. You'll be hurt once and again that they don't see that, just remember you'll make of it exactly what you want it to be, no matter what truly happens in everyone else's eyes.

I say there's only you. So fuck 'em.

And off you go, birdie.

now that i'm suffocating, all i can think of is i'd rather drown

futile

end up
let go
move on

fuck up & fuck off

the difference, you say?
none.

not to objectify you or anything

you're so fucking cute hot, goddammit

a gift to you

(you bunch of programming nerds)

Make me care

Write your name starting with a capital letter. Let me see how strong and confident you are. Disguise your possible doubts about me with coyness and show off. Excel in every way like I know you know how, with your head high and your ponytail higher still. Be discreet yourself while kindly ignoring my conspicuousness.

Keep up the good work. And, for future references: the more you hurt me, the longer you will stay within me.

Guilty pleasure

You know I've seen all kinds of hurt. Well, actually, you don't know that, but you do well in not knowing that, because it isn't true. See? This keeps happening. I get overcome by the urge of saying something to purposely throw you off track.

I could just as well tell you something true and honest. I cannot promise to not exaggerate, though. But the thing is I'm kept alive by the promise anything could happen from here. And it's been fun and it's been real and it's been real fun, but...

Well, just turn around now.

And why would they think anything but the world about you anyway

Last night I dreamt you where somebody else's. I was supposed to be that somebody's, but I refused. So she took you instead, like I had to pay the price somehow.

looks like there's a glitch in the Matrix... /paramnésica perdida me hallo

L'esprit de l'escalier me cuenta que no deja de tener déjà vus.

Les altres (1?)

Anava jo pensant, mentre li netejava les restes d'òxid a la tetera marroquina de llauna que acabava d'adquirir als encants, quant m'agradaria coneixer les altres jos. La jo que no es va anar, la jo que no va tornar... Tal dit i tal fet. Tal dit perquè sofreixo d'una incapacitat crònica per a poder processar qualsevol pensament que no expressi en veu alta. Parlo sola, així és. És un lleig costum i un problema que, he d'admetre, no cessa d'anar en augment. Estic començant a preocupar-me, doncs cada vegada em trobo menys capaç de controlar els meus auto-comentaris i acudits super-privats en la presència de segones persones. Un veritable problema. Per cert que últimament també tendeixo a divagar més del compte. Però això ja és un altre tema...

promises are made to be broken

resolutions:

- get in shape (why not)
- learn to say no (yeah, right)
- be consequent (sure)
- dare to look you in the eye (as if)
- think more or real life as a lucid dream (and act accordingly) (dream on)

...promises

(and, just because, Alice aka teh cuteness)

i am scarcely turned on by a showing piece of undergarment, except under special circumstances...

sth

Right before I can't summon her features. But after, when I have already climaxed, her image comes to me crystal clear. The very moment all the pressure's lifted and nothing matters anymore, she does the most.