Dear parentals, sibling and preggy aunt,

I know we all agreed on a kiss and a cry this morning, but I couldn't do it. I wouldn't have made it out the door and I wouldn't 've been able to say what I wanted to say, which is this, that and the other thing.

First the this. Thank you for putting up with my shameful ass this past year. I sucked and you rolled and your patience has been super appreciated.

Second, the that. I love you. I don't say that nearly as much as I want to or as much as you, you, you and you deserve to hear it. You are the best people in Kansas and I suspect the whole world. Though I'll make my final report after I've seen more of it.

Last, the other thing. A word to my soon-to-be niece. I am sorry I won't be there to see you tear open your mom's junk but I promise to be back before you can walk. In the meantime, tell Marshall to dump Lionel, your mom to say yes the next time you dad asks, and you uncle and aunt not to worry about me. I'm finally using my powers for good!

Osaka kara sukibaru shigeru yo! Roughly translated, I will e-mail you from Osaka.

Your daughter, sister, niece and favorite cousin, Kate

-- United States of Tara 3x03 The Full Fuck You Finger