calvin and hobbes (II)

"People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world."
-Calvin

"I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already."
-Hobbes

"Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success... ...Flat stretches of boring routine... ...And valleys of frustration and failure."
-Calvin

"So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?"
-Calvin

"There's more to this world than just people, you know."
-Hobbes

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."
-Calvin

"Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what."
-Calvin

"If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it."
-Hobbes

"Oh, great altar of passive entertainment... Bestow upon me thy discordant images at such speed as to render linear thought impossible!"
-Calvin

"There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!"
-Calvin

"The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!"
-Calvin

"History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices."
-Calvin

"It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end."
-Calvin

"The best presents don't come in boxes."
-Hobbes

"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."
-Calvin

"It's only work if somebody makes you do it."
-Calvin

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
-Calvin

"You know, there are times when it's a source of personal pride to not be human."
-Hobbes

"You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!"
-Calvin

"A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do."
-Calvin

"I'M SIGNIFICANT!...screamed the dust speck."
-Calvin

"Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time."
-Calvin's Dad